Oh man. You and Maggie Smith and my book coach have staged the best sort of intervention for my own writing. I'm constantly having to relearn the beauty of the processing draft, but framing it as an opportunity to liberate my stolen agency--yes. Thank you all!
This is so good. I’ll often end up cutting the first two pages of writing for a post, before I realize I got to the heart of what is going to resonate with other people. But I always have to write the whole thing — the swear words, the whining, all of it — to get to anything that is honest enough to really be helpful.
When I was in the worst of counseling I’d write and write and write. I always felt like it was completely over emotional and must be such an exaggeration, but then I’d go back and read it later to find that — minus the swearing — it would usually just be me telling the truth without hedging. It’s so interesting how much we think we say the thing plainly, and how much we often don’t.
“Telling the truth without hedging”! So love this. We might call it the rant draft or the petty draft perhaps, but either way, she’s telling the emotional truth, and that matters.
Thank you so much for this today, Steph! I'm working on a scene in my memoir that I've been trying to carefully edit as I type. It's not working, and now I realize it's because I haven't really written a processing draft. I haven't fully thought it through. No wonder I'm finding it hard to write. Again, thank you! And "strike nothing, stet everything" in a processing draft. Love it!
Jun 11·edited Jun 11Liked by Stephanie Duncan Smith
Though I try and try, I still struggle with sharing my feelings surrounding the painful events of my own life because I often dissociated from those moments. In my writing recollections I am now attempting to write down what that dissociation looked like rather than try and mechanically add in feelings which weren't even there (the huge mistake writers often do, in my opinion).
As readers, we choose books, I think, which share the kinds of information we find important. I love thoughts and I read books that focus on the thoughts (more than actions and feelings).
One of the reasons I don't read popular fiction, especially romance, is because I find reading about racing hearts and sweaty palms and lumps in the throat to be a bit flat for my taste. Hence, I am grateful that we have the freedom to write what we want to write and choose what we want to read.
I am drawn to memoir such as Smith's YCMTPB because her voice has depth that extends the body.
Love what you’re onto here about the staying power of embodied writing. And I hope you are finding plenty of gentleness as you go back and revisit those painful memories. As always, I think it takes time for the truth to feel safe enough to come out ♥️
Thank you! The term "processing draft" is exactly what I've needed. I want to write truthfully AND I want to have processed it without editing. Then I think the truth can emerge.
So good! I'm finding that I didn't allow myself the processing draft on a project I started a decade ago. Being from the Christian world, I thought I needed to skip my processing and get to principles so that it wouldn't feel self-indulgent. Learning slowly by slowly that what is most personal is what is most universal, but there are still times I get tired of myself as I write.
As I've gone back in to re-write, every pass I take gets more honest. We'll see what makes it into the final draft, but it has been a relief. Any thoughts for those of us who need permission to bleed onto the page?
I totally get this, my first book was a memoir of mental illness and it was a huge processing experience with many tears - but I found the experience of being edited even more painful somehow. Someone else being forensic over my experience was way harder than I’d predicted but also really helpful as a writer in terms of what I needed to write sometimes not being what readers needed so I kept some bits aside and sent them to the relevant people as reflections between us which was actually a beautiful experience.
"The sacrament of print" - this! ❤️ And so love the concept of the "processing draft", versus "performance piece", and how the reader can tell. I've found it tough coming to write about my mother and all it means to be family, for my memoir draft, essays and even social posts, since losing her last year. This is so helpful in encouraging me back to the telling, to let it all come, and to edit later. Thank you, SO much.
This piece really landed for me, Stephanie! Maggie always pulls me way in and I am loving this series you are doing.
Oh, writing through and with my pain is so necessary for me. It truly is my catharsis.
When I first started trusting my voice on the page and began publishing on Substack, my spouse was a bit taken aback. I write from a place of pain, a lot. As a women in recovery from alcohol addiction, I go deep and feel it’s necessary to address things many sweep away or don’t want to look at. This made my husband uncomfortable. Still does at times.
Familial censorship can inhibit writers. But when our truth stets, others can see theirs in ours.
Oh man. You and Maggie Smith and my book coach have staged the best sort of intervention for my own writing. I'm constantly having to relearn the beauty of the processing draft, but framing it as an opportunity to liberate my stolen agency--yes. Thank you all!
Liberate away! I love that framing so much!
This is so good. I’ll often end up cutting the first two pages of writing for a post, before I realize I got to the heart of what is going to resonate with other people. But I always have to write the whole thing — the swear words, the whining, all of it — to get to anything that is honest enough to really be helpful.
When I was in the worst of counseling I’d write and write and write. I always felt like it was completely over emotional and must be such an exaggeration, but then I’d go back and read it later to find that — minus the swearing — it would usually just be me telling the truth without hedging. It’s so interesting how much we think we say the thing plainly, and how much we often don’t.
“Telling the truth without hedging”! So love this. We might call it the rant draft or the petty draft perhaps, but either way, she’s telling the emotional truth, and that matters.
Thank you so much for this today, Steph! I'm working on a scene in my memoir that I've been trying to carefully edit as I type. It's not working, and now I realize it's because I haven't really written a processing draft. I haven't fully thought it through. No wonder I'm finding it hard to write. Again, thank you! And "strike nothing, stet everything" in a processing draft. Love it!
I love it when something clicks like that. Expectant for you as you give yourself space to write the first draft for you!
Thank you, Steph!
Though I try and try, I still struggle with sharing my feelings surrounding the painful events of my own life because I often dissociated from those moments. In my writing recollections I am now attempting to write down what that dissociation looked like rather than try and mechanically add in feelings which weren't even there (the huge mistake writers often do, in my opinion).
As readers, we choose books, I think, which share the kinds of information we find important. I love thoughts and I read books that focus on the thoughts (more than actions and feelings).
One of the reasons I don't read popular fiction, especially romance, is because I find reading about racing hearts and sweaty palms and lumps in the throat to be a bit flat for my taste. Hence, I am grateful that we have the freedom to write what we want to write and choose what we want to read.
I am drawn to memoir such as Smith's YCMTPB because her voice has depth that extends the body.
Love what you’re onto here about the staying power of embodied writing. And I hope you are finding plenty of gentleness as you go back and revisit those painful memories. As always, I think it takes time for the truth to feel safe enough to come out ♥️
Thank you! The term "processing draft" is exactly what I've needed. I want to write truthfully AND I want to have processed it without editing. Then I think the truth can emerge.
Our first editor is always ourselves, and frankly, sometimes they need to take a step back so the writer within can do her thing!
This is exactly what I needed today. Thank you!
I will never tire of hearing this ♥️
I’m in the middle of letting it all stand, and I couldn’t agree with this more.
Shall we get stet tattoos? All I’m saying: it’s intriguing!!
ooooh what would the tears even look like?! The image coming to mind is Dumbledore’s pensieve. A portal into memories, through the water of tears…
Where are our artists on commission at?!
Love this one, Stephanie!
So good! I'm finding that I didn't allow myself the processing draft on a project I started a decade ago. Being from the Christian world, I thought I needed to skip my processing and get to principles so that it wouldn't feel self-indulgent. Learning slowly by slowly that what is most personal is what is most universal, but there are still times I get tired of myself as I write.
As I've gone back in to re-write, every pass I take gets more honest. We'll see what makes it into the final draft, but it has been a relief. Any thoughts for those of us who need permission to bleed onto the page?
I totally get this, my first book was a memoir of mental illness and it was a huge processing experience with many tears - but I found the experience of being edited even more painful somehow. Someone else being forensic over my experience was way harder than I’d predicted but also really helpful as a writer in terms of what I needed to write sometimes not being what readers needed so I kept some bits aside and sent them to the relevant people as reflections between us which was actually a beautiful experience.
"The sacrament of print" - this! ❤️ And so love the concept of the "processing draft", versus "performance piece", and how the reader can tell. I've found it tough coming to write about my mother and all it means to be family, for my memoir draft, essays and even social posts, since losing her last year. This is so helpful in encouraging me back to the telling, to let it all come, and to edit later. Thank you, SO much.
This piece really landed for me, Stephanie! Maggie always pulls me way in and I am loving this series you are doing.
Oh, writing through and with my pain is so necessary for me. It truly is my catharsis.
When I first started trusting my voice on the page and began publishing on Substack, my spouse was a bit taken aback. I write from a place of pain, a lot. As a women in recovery from alcohol addiction, I go deep and feel it’s necessary to address things many sweep away or don’t want to look at. This made my husband uncomfortable. Still does at times.
Familial censorship can inhibit writers. But when our truth stets, others can see theirs in ours.
Thank you for this deep dive! I needed it. 🙏🏼
As always, so much to learn, so many thoughts, so inspired.
Thank you